Love Comes Like Surprise Ice on the Water

It has been a while since my last post, so I thought I might quickly write one out this evening.


One of my editors for Pre-Law Review Journal made an observation today. I am sick, as is typical of this semester. Today, however, it was worse than ever. I had already had quite a long day, and I think this reality was all too clear. At the end of class, I notice the battery symbol on the top bar of my laptop turn red. “No! I need to work on homework next hour, but my computer is dying and I don’t have my charger!” I exclaimed, exasperated. “Man, it seems like your day always just gets worse and worse as it goes along. More and more just keeps happening to you…” he mused. I shot him a surprised, sidelong glare.

I do not know whether he was being serious or patronizing me, but I realized it was usually true. This semester has been a refiner’s fire and a half for me. I know that I am solely responsible for this. I grossly overbooked myself after an entire year of heavy schoolwork alongside twenty to thirty hours of work each week. That is my own error. I have also been sick for the majority of the term one on level or another. This continuous illness is undoubtedly tied to the statement that precedes it (in combination with the fact that I am an imbecile who avoids going to the doctor at all costs). This has worn me down considerably.

Consequently, my performance in all areas of my life has suffered. I only feel myself occasionally. This is seriously alarming, as I desire to be nothing but what I am (in an improved form eventually).

HOWEVER…

There are thin beams of intense light shining through holes in the hellish box which contains this portion of my life. I have been severely blessed in ways I had not expected. I am living with the most amazing, mature, easy-to-live-with-girls I can imagine. I have been able to go home to spend time with my family on a couple occasions, and I have even had the pleasure of housing my older sister here in Provo for a few weekends.

This week in particular has been extremely tiring, but particularly gratifying. Several wonderful things have happened to me. I will list a few:

-I have been given the opportunity to be a TA next term.
-I was singled out for displaying a valuable skill during an atrociously delivered impromptu speech in class.
-I medaled in Bronze International Standard ballroom dance, even when I was feeling extremely sick, had not practiced for weeks, and had no prior knowledge of the event. I had missed the prior class in which he reminded us about medal exams due to illness.
-The weather has finally turned colder. I walked to school in a snow flurry, all the while enjoying the clouded over mountains.

Other great things have happened to me this week, but I will not detail them, as they are infinitely more personal, and this post already grows too long. Instead, I will just skip to my main point.

Main Point:
Even when I am having a tough time, things are not all bad. My lungs may burn, my head may pulse, and my eyes may strive to be endlessly closed, I have much to enjoy in life. This semester has attempted to hide this knowledge from my mind, but the truth is too mountainous to be hidden for long if one looks for it. Life always gets better.




At least this is what I am telling myself as I embark on my workload for the weekend, which is even larger than it usually is.


______________________
When past sometimes takes you with soft hands
forcelessly pulls you to your chair
hides you away from these half days
sunless at the end of the year
the air is like a knife cutting through you
a room in the house is always warm
stretched out on the bathroom floor thinking
of fair days your future may hold

love comes like surprise ice on the water
love comes like surprise ice at dawn
love comes like surprise ice on the water
love comes at dawn

deprived of the light and of the colours
the world ends at your window tree
darkness creates these illusions
but pale days can teach you to see
rain falls but no life is given
weeks pass no progress is made

past sometimes takes you with soft hands
and all that surrounds you will fade -Kings of Convenience